it's good to be home.

a couple days ago i got to hang out with this gorgeous woman.

desiree!!

it's been far too long since i have seen her. you see, desiree has always been my best friend. no matter how much time we spend apart, she is always there for me. and now that i live home i can't wait to see her more often!! 

dance in 5th grade. hahah.

we go way back.

15 years old.

love her!

and everyone else i have forgotten about in kaysville..

however, i am excited to venture up to logan this weekend for the cache valley cruise in.

lovely.

"Pain nourishes courage. You can't be brave if you've only had wonderful things happen to you."

-Mary Tyler Moore

a change.

so a couple weeks ago i cut all my hair off. it was pretty last minute, sporadic, and it didn't look bad per se.. but i wanted to make it a bit cuter. [among other things]. sooo today i was lucky enough to get my hair cut and dyed by my awesome cousin lindsay. it turned out amazing!! i've never been happy with a haircut right off the bat.

i love itttt.

this week in general brought on some pretty crazy changes. while i have been fighting moving back with my parents for so long, i couldn't do it anymore and decided to finally take their advice and move back. it's been 3 years since i've lived with my family, and let's say it's taken some getting used to. however it hasn't been near as bad as i imagined. [and why i imagined it being so bad to begin with is beyond me.. my family is amazing].

i think what i was dreading most was change. something i always have a hard time with. when things don't go the way i plan them to i tend to freak out... [it's a weakness of mine. i'm working on it.] so let's just say that the past couple days of being home have kind of been a lot to deal with.  it's just for the summer i'm hoping, until i get my life together. a lot has been going on, a lot i haven't been ready to handle and don't want to handle yet. so being able to be home with my parents and sisters has been a great help. 

not to mention i COMPLETELY forgot about the great people in kaysville. i have little to no friends here now, but i've started to remember the great friends i had. this weekend was just what i needed.

i spent friday at ikea and cabela's with my mom and sister..scored a new dresser, nightstand, and an awesome pair of hiking shoes. i spent the afternoon laying out by my pool with this adorable boy:

is he not the cutest? timmy is my favorite dog on this planet. i love him to bits and pieces. after a lovely afternoon by the pool, i hung out with my 2 friends aaron and jimmy. driving around blasting lady gaga [do not tell them i posted that part on the internet..], sitting in parking lots and finding a random rope swing in the middle of a field made it a pretty fun night. except for when the deer/big foot/policeman came out of the bushes and we ran for our lives.

today was also fabulous. i spent the day swimming with a bunch of my amazing friends. a lot of friends i had forgotten i even had.. i am just overwhelmed, surprised, and grateful for how many friends i still have, and the great people that they are.

here's to hope of a better summer.

the reason i want a mac...

so awesome.

adam, ally & i showing off our sexy sides a couple weeks back when adam came to logan to visit.

win!

newgate mall.

yesterday i went on a mini road trip with my cute friends hannah and nayda. we drove to ogden and i mostly watched the other two shop... [oh how i hate being poor]. we had a lot of fun walking around a mall much bigger than logan's.. and found a crazy store filled with some of the ugliest formal dresses we've ever seen. so of course we had to find the ugliest dresses we could find, try them on and take some pictures.

hannah lookin' sexy.

my dress was a lovely barf colored number.

nayda's was a hideous wedding gown.

hahahaha.

such great fun.

ra ra riot.

has become one of my favorite bands of all time. i've been listening to them a lot over the past couple weeks and their talent never ceases to amaze me.
maybe i'm biased since violins and cello's are my favorite instruments ever... you tell me. their song "oh, la" is absolutely amazing.
also check out can you tell, too too too fast, and winter 05. you probably won't regret it.

father's day.

me and my adorable sisters

casie, kylie, rachel, & i :]

my mama & grandpa. i just had to put this up to show off what a stinking adorable grandpa i have! he's the cutest!

with my brother & sister-in-law, & papa himself!

i am so grateful for my dad & all that he does for me. he is such a great influence & example in all that i do. thanks for being amazing papa!!

with my dad again at my high school graduation in 2007. what a great guy.

my new car.

ah, i wish.

aaron, alix, hannah and i saw this car today on our way home from summerfest. [more on that later]. for now all you need to know is that logan has a PLETHORA of incredibly cool people. and i plan on going to summerfest every day for the rest of the weekend.

keep breathing.

sometimes the days are way too hard. getting out of bed is no easy task. i don't want to do it. i want to give up. i have always been a person of optimism, a person who understands the world and the reason people make the decisions they choose. i used to show no judgment, hold no grudge, and never saw a reason to cling to the past. not anymore.

my heart is heavy; and my eyes. they want to close and forget. and yet they stay open. i spend my day wondering if it's late enough to go to bed, and if i can make it through alive. and yet i do. every day. my eyes see, my lungs pump fresh oxygen into my veins, and my heart continues to beat.

despite how much it's hurting  it continues to beat.

where has the time gone?

someone told me the other day that summer is almost half over.. i was not ok with that. where has the time gone?? i need summer to be here always. it's by far my favorite season, and while this summer has been a rough one with some unexpected bumps, i've had some amazing friends with me every step of the way. here's what i've been up to as of  late:

enjoying the sunshine with miss hannah.

staying up late with friends [jake and ally].

also notice i cut 10 inches off my hair. i love it! which is surprising,

since i've had long hair for... about as long as i can remember.

being silly with ally.

she's my new roommate, btw. i quite like her.

playing with this adorable little kitten.

hannah got her last week and named her gabbana.

but our other friends are trying, unsuccessfully, to change her name

to "frederick".

my friend from kaysville also got a puppy this weekend.

meet havok, the purebred blue heeler.

havok and gabbana seem to get along quite well.

random car rides.

it's been a busy summer, but it's been so fun.

homesick..

today i am homesick for my little sisters.

they are the cutest little girls...and so sweet.

i've never met two girls who were more well behaved and adorable.

[and i'm not just saying that because i'm biased..]

how cute are they?!

the 4 girls. [we're basically awesome]

music.

"music expresses that which cannot be put into words and cannot remain silent."

-victor hugo

weekend love.

this picture basically describes my weekend.

after a week from hell, i went to idaho with some friends.

the mini vacation was MUCH needed.

the car ride.

adam is my favorite.

good times.

hope your weekend was great.

also hope this week will be wayyy better than last week was.

pretty please.

friendship rocks.

so excited!!

today i got a fellowship with peter corroon, the democratic nominee for utah's governor.
the election is this upcoming november and i get to be part of the grassroots efforts, including finding volunteers, going to events, doing some PR if i'm lucky, and all around getting to spend my summer incorporating my majors into a campaign.
i'm so excited!!
the program is 10 weeks long, and is going to be a lot of hard work...and also a blast.
here's to a good summer.

brilliant.

"Here the ways of men divide. If you wish to strive for peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you wish to be a disciple of truth, then inquire" 

-Nietzsche